A Man Needs Respect Not Love

Many women think they show their husbands respect by talking to them gently, listening to them, giving them space and time alone, assuming good things about them, speaking respectfully in front of others, treating them with dignity, etc. While these are all nice and may even be true to a degree, they miss the mark in terms of what men actually want. They need to feel respected.

Men need to be told that their opinion matters, they are valued, they are important to her, that he is proud of them, that they are a priority and not just a task, that their family is a top priority, and that she adores them. She wants to know that she is a desirable woman, that her value is high in her husband’s eyes, that she is his ally, and that he would be happy to fight for her.

Some people take this one step further and claim that men need respect more than they need to feel loved, using a study by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his book Love & Respect to back up their claims. This idea of a deeper need for respect than love seems to be contrary to Ephesians 5:33, which instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands.

Moreover, many men describe feeling disrespected by the way their spouses talk about them to other friends and relatives. When a wife criticizes her husband in public, it can have devastating effects on his self-esteem and affect the ways other people treat him as well. A man needs respect not love